WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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