I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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