i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
