I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
