dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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