Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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