Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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