Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
