my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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