I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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