you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
