So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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