his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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