***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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