Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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