My room smells like vodka and shame
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
