so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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