I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
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