I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
