The brown eye won't let me do that either.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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