wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
