Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
