Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I will be naked everywhere
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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