from now on my penis is your penis
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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