There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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