It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
