I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
