He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
