your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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