No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
