i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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