Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
