i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
