I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
