There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize