Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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