He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who died my cat blue again?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize