I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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