Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
