i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
