You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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