how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
