I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We left the knife in your bed.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
