There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
