Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
