I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my shit smells like andre
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Come on in and take your pants off
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