I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
