Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize