First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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