Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
