Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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