I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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