Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize