They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
