you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
