At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize