y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
