A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
