3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
